Saturday, March 5, 2011

The Load is Taking My Muchness..I'm taking it BACK!

I don't get enough sleep.  When I add up all that I do in a 24 hour period and then see the actual time I spend resting my body...ummm...it's no wonder I am sick with a wicked cold.  My day starts at 6:15 a.m. and sometimes doesn't end until 8 or later. I get lost in all of the doctor appointments, the to and fro of the extra curricular activities the 4 kids are in, and the day to day grind.  My husband is gone until the end of the summer, so the load is doubled in many ways.  It is a lot and doesn't leave me much time for a personal life, but I love my life and I love doing what I do for my family...I'm just lacking something.  Poor me, right.  Not exactly.

Yes, I need a break sometimes.  Yes, I need one less eye roll or complaint from the kids.  Yes, a few more hours of sleep would work too.  Yes, I need to take care of myself so that I don't get to this point ...where I look in the mirror at overgrown eyebrows, too many extra long gray hairs, and a few extra pounds and say 'What has happened?!'. 

I NEED my muchness back.  I'm not talking about self importance.  I'm not talking about pride.  I'm talking about the muchness I have in God.  The part of me that is being muffled and shaded.  The part that should speak the loudest and shine the brightest.  The Fruits of the Spirit, the traits that I have through God, the parts of me that without Him I fail to launch successfully....daily.  Specifically....

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22)


I have allowed my load to take a portion of all of these traits and wear me down and make me sick, literally.  So what to do, what to do.....

Oh I know....stop running myself ragged.  Start working out again.  Yoga was a regular thing, get back on that track.  Drink more water and get more SLEEP!

Thankfully, my first response in moments of despair has been to call out and cry out to God.  I spent some time this week sobbing to God.  I said to Him, 'I can't do this!'.  He immediately called back, 'Yes you can.'.  I cried back, 'But I don't know how!'.  He IMMEDIATELY called back, 'Yes you do.'.  He knows me better than I know myself.  I am thankful for everyday, thankful that He allows some trial and fire.  He has confidence in me.  So....'What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?'  Romans 8:31. 

It's time to slow down.  It's time to breathe.  It's time to appreciate the little things.  IT'S TIME TO TAKE MY MUCHNESS BACK!

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