Friday, February 21, 2014

Winter

Winter depresses me.
Winter pushes me down.
Winter clings to me like a weighted blanket.
Winter turns me gray.
Winter hurts my skin.
Winter holds me by the neck.
Winter steals my motivation.

Winter wins for a little while,  but Spring will be here soon.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Update on Seth's Aspie Journey

Seth has been off of medication for a few years now.  We wanted to give his body a break and wanted to wait and see if he would grow out of some the inattentiveness.

Well........he didn't grow out of any of it.  So he is back on Intuniv!  He started on 2/10 and we are seeing an immediate improvement in his attention (within 24 hours), his teacher sees it as well.  It seemed like the effects started to wane by the end of the first week.  We increased his dosage on 2/17 and he seems to have perked up a bit. We are hopeful that we're on the right track.  His evenings are kind of rough.  His mood and attention seem to tank right around 7:30-8:00pm.  We give him the medication at night because the last time he was on it he was nauseous and had difficulty getting his day started.  So far his days are going very well.  We don't mind if he tanks at home in the evenings.  We'd rather he tank at home than at school and so far this timing is working well.


Seth still struggles with sensitivity to loud noises.



Thankfully, though, he seems to be embracing and adjusting his life around it.  He wanted a smoothie and when I walked in on him making it for himself he had his sound blocking headphones on!  I'm glad to see him growing up and taking steps toward independence.  I should say, at times, I feel like he may never be ready to leave...or feel confident enough to be fully independent.  He has some very irrational fears.  He is afraid to walk to a neighbor's house (right next door) alone for fear of being kidnapped.  When he is in his bed we have to shut our bedroom door (visible to him) for fear of a black eyed monster(?) walking out of my room and killing him.

He still is (and will likely always be) stubborn and very set in his ways.  It is still difficult to change plans or adjust to life when things can't go as planned.  We are able to reason with him a little better because he is older.  Even though he may not like to change plans he isn't completely melting down.  He used to hurt himself (punch himself in the head, etc).  We have worked really hard to show him that part of living in our world means being willing to work with the unexpected changes.  As a family of 6 we are constantly having to adjust to life's ebbs and flows.   We have really tried to teach him and the other children to be flexible.  This is so hard for him, but,  I often hear him saying to himself  "It's not the end of the world".  He is talking himself off of the ledge. YAY for him that he is dealing with life in a positive way and helping himself!

I am thankful that he is very social, awkward at times, but he really wants to be involved in what goes on around him.  I know this is not always the case with Asperger Kids.  We are constantly working on what is socially appropriate and how to keep him out of the personal space of others.  It's awesome that he has a desire to be social and we are not fighting him to make friends.  We love that he is confident to talk to others.  I know that some kids have a desire to make friends but lack the confidence.

Our focus right now is on helping him develop the skills to be independent.  As he endures the adolescent stage we are excited to see how we will all mature and change.  We pray for the strength to endure it with him and pray that we all come out of it smiling :)

 

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Permitting Myself To Push Past the Block

The kids are off to school.  The dog is snoring on her pillow next to the heat vent.  My husband sits across the table from me as he works from home  My coffee cup's steam is rising up next to me.  It's quiet and it will be for another 5 1/2 hours. This is the perfect atmosphere for sitting, writing, and releasing.

It's funny how as I sit down to spill out what is bottled up inside of me I suddenly fall speechless!  This has happened so many times in the past 3 years.  I haven't written anything in that long because I can't get past the block.  But ya know what?  I'm pushing past it.  As it turns out, God has given me a desire and love for writing.  Maybe I have felt pressured to write for others?  (I smile when I see that an entry or 2 has had several readers)  The truth is, as I'm sitting here being honest with myself, I have to give myself permission to write.  If I don't permit myself to write then I feel dumb and irrelevant.  If I write for myself then I am not under the pressure of what others will think.  If I write for myself then I can push past the block.  If I write for myself then all of a sudden I have freedom to release the madness or joy without hesitation.  

So, there.  I did it.  The block is destroyed.

Give yourself permission to push past the block too!  Your block can be anything holding you back.  You don't need permission from the world.  You don't need anyone affirm whatever it is that you love to do.  YOU DON'T NEED ANYONE'S PERMISSION TO DO GOD'S WILL WITH YOUR LIFE.  Perhaps you have never thought of it that way before or maybe you just needed to be reminded, again.  Either way...

Let the clicking of keys (or whatever it is for you) begin!